Not too far back I wrote a positive, peppy post about turning a year older. But a few months in, and with the year about to end, I’ve come to realize that, really, nobody likes you when you’re 23. It’s just a very weird time.
1. Your being ‘college clingy’ is kinda sad. It’s been almost 2 years since college, but when you’re still not quite over it, it’s difficult. Maybe the all-nighters, finals, oral exams, yeah, but the novelty of living in that safe little bubble where everything is just possible and you’re basically free to do anything you want… that’s what still reels you in. I once said that graduating feels like breaking up, haha. It’s probably a not-so-healthy nostalgic feeling ’cause I know you really have to let go. It’s just hard.
2. You have so much more to let down… despite the apparent menial nature of things haha. In college it was much easier to fail and get back up again without feeling too bruised by the circumstance because it was just yourself you had to make it up to. Now, so much more is riding on whatever you do. You don’t just let yourself down; you let others down if you mess up. And you’re bound to mess up, ’cause you’re new to it all. I guess it’s why they say the things you take on at this time of “growth” is what ‘builds character.’
3. Making/keeping friends is hard. At this point, you have your different groups of friends established. Childhood friends. Highschool friends. College friends. Work friends. You have different important experiences with them that will bond you forever but the closeness won’t always remain. You’re lucky if you have a particular group constantly there but sadly it won’t be the same with most of the others. And you can’t really blame people, especially at this time when everyone is branching out and “collecting” experiences. Again, growth.
4. Your love life’s DOA. To quote The Rembrandts. Hahaha. Some at this age are already in serious, steady relationships but most others are going about single (and happy and free lol). It’s hard to get with someone because guys older than you are either too “grown up” or are only looking for, uh, one thing, and then guys younger are probably still in college so they have an entirely different world from you. The guys around your age… Well, they’re just malabo. They don’t know what they want. And you never know what they’re thinking. Haha. It’s not really a bother until you keep getting “Ha?? Bakit wala kang boyfriend?” questions at family reunions, random work convos, hangouts with old fam friends… Ugh. Gimme a break po, haha.
5. You’re too young and too old at the same time. Your professional resume pretty much reflects the reality of your life. You’ve done many things by now, but not a lot counts for much when you take in the bigger picture. At least, not yet. You can’t keep clinging to past experiences you felt were actually significant because when it comes down to it, they were pretty juvenile. You just really need more experience. But that doesn’t come easily either given how you’re stuck doing the little things since you’re not that trusted yet to hold much more. And you don’t know how to handle them yet anyway. But how do you learn?? Hahaha.
6. There are weird new battles you have to fight. Won’t get into specifics, but I’ve learned that you can find yourself pinned up against certain things you don’t really care much for but have to fight against haha. It’s ridiculous and annoying but you have to stand up for yourself because nobody else will. Welcome to the real world baby, it’ll all say. Lol.
Bonus #7- you end up constantly evaluating your life and the choices you make. You put this incredible amount of pressure on yourself when all you really want to do is watch Friends and Gilmore Girls reruns, hang out into the wee hours of the night with your friends, feed your emotions with berlin-artparasites posts on Facebook, and answer Buzzfeed quizzes.
Hahahaha. Le sigh. Actually, maybe we should just stop fixating on age altogether.